The Women are Home!

I'm very happy!  My wife and daughter arrived safely to the airport on Friday night.  We spent the night and much of Saturday in Winnipeg doing a little shopping and resting up before driving the four hours back home.  Patti was happy to find her home in one piece and reasonably clean.  All the dishes and laundry were caught up.  The bed was made for the first time in two weeks.  There was even some milk in the fridge.  

So how do I evaluate the experience?  I'm not sure it's necessary to do so too deeply, but a few things.  I can do the bachelor thing if I have to.  I don't want to.  I don't like it.  But I can do it.  There were many things I missed with having my wife away.  Some of them had to do with things she does for me, but I also missed her and that enhanced my love for her.  And I discovered some things that I can do to show her my love.  She works very hard for me and I have taken much of that for granted.  But now that I've learned how to do some laundry and other such things, I can help her do some of that.  I know it won't automatically mean that I will and I know myself well enough to know how easily I can slip into old habits, but the time apart and having to do it all myself has made me more sensitive.

A humorous short story of adjustment to close.  I woke up in the middle of the night last night sensing that someone was wandering around my bedroom.  I felt a shot of fear for a few seconds.  Who's in my house?  In my room?  Then I realized that I wasn't living alone any longer and my wife was up to the bathroom!  I thankfully and happily turned over and went back to sleep.

Grace and peace,

Dave

Review of A Tale of Two Sons

A Tale of Two Sons by John MacArthur is the best book I’ve read in some time.  At just over 200 pages it is an easy but worthwhile read.  MacArthur has done a masterful job at opening up the story of what we commonly know as the prodigal son found in Luke 15:11-32.  

 In Part 1, MacArthur lays out the context, both in terms of the Pharisees’ conflict with Jesus and the setting in which this parable is told.  Luke 15 begins with these words:

“Now all the tax-gatherers and the sinners were coming near Him(Jesus) to listen to Him.  And both the Pharisees and the scribes began to grumble, saying, ‘This man receives sinners and eats with them.’”  (Luke 15:1-2) 

 Jesus’ response was two short parables and then the parable of the prodigal.  MacArthur summarizes all three, before going on to talk about them at greater length, with these words: 

 “Throughout Luke 15, Christ is describing and illustrating the celebratory joy that fills heaven over the repentance of sinners.  That is the single central theme and the major lesson that ties all of Luke 15 together.”  (page 20)

 Part 1 concludes with these words:

 “I encourage you to use your reading of this book as an opportunity to do some serious, heartfelt examination.  If you’re new to the Christian faith, the parable of the prodigal son is an excellent starting place for studying God’s Word and learning to apply its truths to your life.  Even if you have been a church member for years, you will benefit greatly from the exercise.”   (page 37)

 I say “Amen” to that.  That’s all I’m going to give you for now.  Perhaps it’s enough to make you run out and buy the book right now.  If not, stay tuned.  I’ll share some more soon.  

 Grace and peace,

 Dave

The Week the Women Went- Part 6

It's getting late, at least for me.  I know that some of you are nighthawks.  But it's been a couple days since I checked in and I didn't want anyone to think I had dropped dead.  I guess that could happen to a bachelor and no one might know for days!  I'm still alive.

I am counting the days now until my wife comes home.  Not the hours yet, but I have less time alone left than I've already survived.  I think I'll make it.  This week should go a little easier than last.  I usually have two or three nights out a week.  Last week I had none; on the very week Patti was away.  Tonight my District Coach was here for a meeting and is staying overnight at our house so between supper, the meeting and chatting afterward the night went quick.  I have our church's kids' club another night and floor hockey another.  So I should make it, although I will have no one to ask me if I'm alright when I get home from hockey or to feel sorry for me if I'm not.

I took about an hour and a quarter off for lunch today instead of my usual half hour.  With my District Coach coming I had to make sure the dishes were caught up, the floor swept and I had to go buy a few groceries.  I suppose it could be tough doing all those things on your own after working a full day everyday.  

I talk to Patti every couple days and she is doing alright.  She misses me and I miss her.  I think that's a very good thing.  Still I know that this has been good for us.  Absence really does make the heart grow fonder.  It makes it ache a little too, but that's not all bad.

Partly for a joke, partly because I did want to promote my blog to our church congregation(because sometime I might have something really worthwhile to say here!) I posted a note on the powerpoint at the end of Sunday's service.  Something to the effect that if people wanted to know how Pastor Dave was doing without Patti they could read his blog at--and then I gave the address.  It brought a few smiles and a few hits, I think.

I appreciate all of you who come by here regularly or from time to time, but I have to say that you have been altogether unhelpful in giving me any advice on how to cope with this bachelorhood thing!  It must be a miracle that I've survived as long as I have!

Grace and peace,

Dave

A Baptist Goes to Catholic Mass

I went to a Catholic Mass for the first time ever tonight.  I went with a friend to see what it was like and to hopefully open up a door to be able to talk about our differences.  This is not meant to be any kind of a theological discussion or a look at doctrine(at least not much).  It's more just observation: What surprised me, what I liked, what I didn't care for, what I didn't understand.  

There were a number of things I didn't understand, including the proper terms for things so I'm sure to show my ignorance to those who know more.  I don't understand the use of Latin in the service.  It wasn't much, but it was there.  I didn't understand the many gestures or the things that the priest "mumbled" over the eucharist elements.  I say "mumbled" only because he spoke aloud but too quietly to hear.  I didn't understand my friend's comment to me.  While we were seated waiting for the service to start the priest was walking around greeting people.  He greeted my friend and asked who I was.  I was introduced by name only.  After he left, my friend whispered, "Should I have told him you were the enemy?"  I didn't know how much was joke and how much he meant.  It stayed with me for awhile, but I forgot to ask him when the service was finished.

Surprises:  I was surprised that there was no organ.  Music was led with a guitar and a keyboard.  I guess they do use an organ at a more traditional service.  I was surprised that the message was very short--ten minutes and that is the norm at this church.  I was surprised at the Scripture readings.  They included John 3:14-21 and Ephesians 2:4-10.  Great Gospel passages on salvation by grace through faith!  My understanding has always been that they do not believe that.  However they understand them, they do not shy away from such passages.  And I was surprised by how quick the place cleared out afterwards.  We greeted a couple people on the way out, but didn't stop to talk to anyone.  It seemed that most people were doing the same.  A few people in our Baptist church head right for the door, but many stay and visit for several minutes if not 30 or more.

I didn't like the short sermon.  It tied the Scripture readings together, but I felt there wasn't much substance.   I didn't like that all the Scriptures and most other parts of the service with in a booklet instead of actually having or opening the Bible.  I didn't like the lack of an extended time of singing.  There was a song here and there--some more chants than songs.  I didn't like the statue of Mary and of Jesus.  I don't know that I would call them idols, but I think they made it harder to concentrate on the unseen Jesus.  I really didn't like the couple of references to Mary.  One was in reference to her being always a virgin.  The Bible says different.  The other had to do with prayer.  My friend assures me that they don't pray to Mary.  He says that it is more like praying through Mary.  Asking Mary to help them get through to Jesus.  I think that's what he said.  If that's it, it still isn't biblical.  We have free access to Jesus directly. 

There were some things I did like though and even wish we could incorporate into a Baptist service(I'm sure some do, but we don't).  I liked the way they had a couple children(a boy and and a girl) involved as helpers through the whole service.  Are they what are called altar boys/girls?  I liked the several Scripture readings.  I especially liked the opportunity for congregational response that liturgy gives.  It's not that great for visitors to feel a part of even with the little book, and I'm sure it can get to be just habit without much meaning other than the comfort of routine.  But the people are involved and not just spectators!  That's very good!

Grace and peace,

Dave

The Week the Women Went- Part 5

I'm starting into my second week of bachelorhood now.  No she didn't just decide to stay away longer.  It WAS planned this way!  So today I decided I needed to do some laundry.  I have done a bit of laundry in the past, but not unless I had to and not since we've had this current washer and dryer.  Patti gave me a crash course before she left, but nothing written down.  My memory is great, but it's short.  So first the washer.  I know that comes first.  Which setting is it supposed to be on?  Why so many knobs and buttons?  Does the water go in first?   Or the clothes??  Or the detergent???  How much is too big of a load?  What do I do with the whites?  I don't have many, certainly not enough for a load, but I need them!

Out of the washer and into the dryer.  Again too many knobs.  Why won't it start?  Knob out or in?  Why won't it start!?  Oh yeah, there's an extra knob just to start the stupid thing.  And then to time it exactly.  If I get the clothes out the second it stops I won't have to iron them I'm told.  Not that I'd ever be able to iron them anyway.  So I set my watch and run down a couple times to check.  Apparently the dryer timer is not the same as my watch.  So I stand there twiddling my thumbs and waiting.  Finally it stops.  Get them out and on hangers.  Now how do you fold which type of pant again?  And can the shirts be put right into the closet or do they need room and time to breathe or for the wrinkles to fall out.  I'm sure there was something like that!

So now it is nearly noon and I really have nothing done but a bit of laundry.  Well I spent a half hour on the exercise bike and showered and phoned my parents.  But I haven't even eaten.  I started in that direction, but then decided to make up a bit of a grocery list because that's next on the agenda.  And then I start discovering food that is spoiling in the fridge.  A rotting cucumber.  Bread that is going bad even in the fridge.  A container of spaghetti that's been sitting there for a week since I cooked it by mistake.  Don't even ask how you can cook spaghetti by mistake.  You just can!  I hate wasting food but how do you figure out how much to buy or how much to cook when you're only single once in a while?

Well Patti is five hours closer to home now than she was.  She's gone from the home of one son to the other.  At least she's heading in the right direction but it will be a few days yet.  I am missing her.  Not just all she does for me, but that too.  

I take my wife altogether too much for granted.  I'm sure we can all relate to that concerning all our blessings if we stop to think about it.  You don't miss them or it or whatever until they are gone.  So take a second to give your loved one a hug or a phone call.  Take another few seconds to count your blessings and thank the Lord.

Grace and peace,

Dave    

The Week the Women Went- Part 4

Time seems to be going quite slowly and yet I'm not getting much of any thing extra done.  One would think that having your wife and daughter away would give you more time and more would get done.  One would think.  The problem seems to be that I am more tired and more lazy and so not much more is getting done.  I have done some extra reading, but that's about it.  

Could it be that as much as a marriage relationship takes work, it also energizes?  I think there must be some truth to it.  That, and being married gives some checks and balances for looking after yourself better--eating better, getting to bed at a decent time and so on.  I have read a number of studies that being married is actually better for your health than being single--especially for guys.

I am feeling some loneliness although nothing acute.  I have made a point of getting out with people, either as part of my job or beyond.  I was out with people three times yesterday and a couple times today.  That has helped.

I talked to Patti today(we agreed on every couple days) and they are doing fine without me.  I was shocked!  She's missing me like I'm missing her, but we are doing fine and trying to make the most of our time apart.  I need to try a little harder.

Grace and peace,

Dave

The Week the Women Went- Part 3

I am very tired tonight.  After a full day of work I came home and cooked, baked, did laundry, washed floors and cleaned toilets.  Don't believe me?  Okay, the reason I'm so tired is because I stayed up to 11:45 last night and got up this morning at 6:15.  That is unusual at both ends.  No reason to stay up that late.  I watched some TV, played Scrabble on the computer and read for awhile.  The probable reason for staying up is because I wanted to make sure I would sleep when I finally turned off the light.  I didn't want to lay awake in an empty house.  That, and my wife wasn't here to remind me it was time to go to bed.  That woman does so much to keep me on track.  I slept fine until I woke up just after 6.  By 6:15 I decided to get up and get some exercise on the bike.  And now I'll be lucky to make it to 9 tonight!  Thus went Day 3 of bachelorhood.

Dave  

Weather Variety!

A quick comment on our recent variety in weather.  Last Monday/Tuesday we got 18+ inches of snow and the temperature got down to -30C on Tuesday night.  The snow drifted(in places I had to shovel) to three and four feet.  It was mighty cold shoveling on Wednesday morning.  We were starting to believe that winter would never be over.  Today it got up to +16C(over 60F).  It has been in the double digits in temperature since Saturday.  The streets are running with water.  Glen, who helped me shovel the sidewalk and ramp at the church, said today that if only we could have postponed church for a couple days we wouldn't have had to shovel at all!    I thank God for the variety.  Life might get boring if not for the variety He has built into it in so many ways.  Enjoy that variety wherever you find it and praise God.

Grace and peace,

Dave

The Week the Women Went- Part 2

Coming to the end of Day 2.  I slept okay last night, but missed the goodnight cuddle, the waking up in the night to an empty spot in the bed, the "good morning" greeting.  It's not like I haven't spent nights by myself, but it has been a while.  It gives me a new appreciation for those who have lost a spouse after many years together.  It must be a terribly hard adjustment that we don't normally think or talk about.  As we grow older it is something we will have to think about.

I had a chocolate bar and a cup of tea for breakfast this morning.  I don't think that had anything to do with baching it except maybe that there was no one to stop me.  Other than that it was a fairly regular day.  Oh yeah, except for the comments from my church family: Have you figured out the stove yet?  You've lost a lot of weight!

I finally got through filing a box of sermons that I've been putting off for a few years.  I guess that is a result of baching it--a little boredom, a little looking for things to keep busy.  Hopefully that's a good thing. 

Well that's it for now.

Grace and peace,

Dave

The Week the Women Went- Part 1

Disclaimer:  This has nothing to do with the reality TV show (which I watched a couple of times last year) except that I'm borrowing the title because it relates to my situation.  

I am now officially "bacheloring" it for a while.  I left my wife and daughter at the airport this morning at 5:30 a.m. to fly west to see our two sons and their families.  They were anxious to go and I didn't want to take vacation time in the winter so I'm home and they are not.  So far so good.  The four hour trip home was uneventful on the outside of the vehicle and excellent on the inside.  I listened to nearly three hours of Piper's book, Don't Waste Your Life, on CD, mingled with some great Christian worship music which I recently bought.  And I had it turned up nice and loud!  I had lunch at an A&W.  It felt a little strange eating by myself with no one to talk to.  Saturday is my regular day off and Patti and I often eat lunch out together that day.

Now I'm home and it's very quiet and I'm hungry.  No supper smells going.  No frying pans sizzling.  I met a guy I know on the way home and he asked me if I knew how to boil water.  I told him I'd figure it out.

I'm sure that for many of you, being on your own for a week or two is no big deal, but this is a new experience for me.  I've been married nearly 34 years and I have not been by myself for this length of time.  The few months between living at home and getting married were spent boarding at the home of an acquaintance who looked after me nearly as well as my mother and my wife.  I don't recommend that for guys today.  You need to spend some time on your own to learn how to look after yourself.  Patti has gone away in the past to see family, but we had teenage or young adult children at home to help me out. 

No doubt about it: I AM SPOILED.  Even this time on my own isn't a fair test.  Partly because she loves me and enjoys doing it and partly because she doesn't think I'll be able to make it on my own, my wife has cooked and frozen enough supper meals to last me the whole time she's away.  Of course I will have to thaw them out and heat them up.  Poor baby!  Before we left for the airport yesterday I got a crash course on using the washer and dryer(I have done some laundry in the past, but very little), but I probably have enough clothes to last me if I don't do any.  I also had a lesson on using the oven.  Don't laugh; it's one of those digital ones!

I have lots of things I'd like to accomplish while the women are gone: finishing my income tax, getting more exercise than I normally do, and using the extra time as somewhat of a spiritual retreat--that is spending more time with the Lord in prayer and study as well as doing some extra reading and listening to some sermons.  But with all the shopping, meal preparation, cleanup, laundry and so on I fear I'll be just too busy and too tired to get to any of that.  If nothing else, I hope it gives me a greater appreciation of my wife--not just what she does for me, but also her companionship and friendship.  

Well my stomach is grumbling so loud I can't hear my music so I have to go find some supper.  Maybe I should just run over to McDonalds.  I'll keep you posted on how it's going and you can feel free to share any advice you've gleaned over the years, or just tell me to grow up and stop whining.

Grace and peace,

Dave