Boys Will Be Boys

I "stumbled" across another blog today and found a post that seemed to fit with my last post about our boys birth and birthday.  If you have boys I'm sure you'll get a chuckle and some memories.  The writer, Susan Stitch, was gracious enough to allow me to re-print it here.  Check out Susan's blog, New Every Morning, for the context and more interesting things.

So, without further ado, I've learned that you know you are raising a son when:

10. A conversation on any topic can turn into a discusson on animal waste within three sentences.

9. You ask if he has a clean shirt on and he immediately looks down to see if there is any dirt (on the shirt you KNOW he's worn for three days)

8. You walk in his room to collect dirty clothes and find a week's worth of clean underwear in the corner...but no dirty pairs.

7. You have to create rules like 'no dinosaurs at the table'.

6. You decide to raise 'peace-loving' children but they still create guns out of sticks, fingers, and even sandwiches

5. He delightedly shows you that certain body parts 'bounce' when he jumps.

4. Bodily noises create gales of giggles and bragging instead of embarrassment

3. Your son proudly announces that he has discovered eight ways to create those embarrassing bodily noises

2. He chooses to drink root beer because it makes you 'burp better'

And the number one way to know that you are raising a son is....

1. When your family meets your daughter's boss (a minister) for the first time, he proudly announces that he hasn't made any of those embarrassing bodily noises in several days cause he's saving them up for a really big release!

Reminiscing 30 Years Ago

Our lives changed dramatically thirty years ago today, Friday November 17, 1978. Twin boys were born into our family that day! I remember getting a phone call at work saying that the doctor was going to do a C-section on my wife, Patti. They had been trying to induce labour for a couple days, but "lost" the heartbeat of one of the boys. At that point they decided to go in after them. The delivery went fine and just three weeks after discovering that there was more than one baby, we were the proud parents of twin boys: Jonathan David and Ronald Nathan.

Less than 48 hours later, our joy and excitement turned to fear. Patti developed blood clots and was taken by ambulance to a hospital in Hamilton, Ontario and put in Intensive Care. The next morning I received word that they were taking the boys to the same hospital, "just to be near their Mom." After spending time with Patti I went looking for my sons. I was directed to a section of the hospital, given a gown and mask to put on and buzzed in to see them. I didn't understand the gown and mask. I was shocked to see a little guy through the glass window with a bunch of wires going to his head and chest. I said a silent "thank you" that this was not one of my sons.  And then I found out it was! Apparently they had picked up some kind of virus or something and were deathly sick. I was scared to death.

God graciously answered the prayers of many people and brought all three home safe and sound. His grace continued over the years, giving us a daughter, bringing each of our children to salvation through Jesus, keeping us healthy and safe, blessing us with great times together, meeting all our needs and more, and keeping our kids walking with Him in spite of our many parenting mistakes.  

They have challenged us and given us some sleepless nights, stretched us, taught us as much as we've taught them, loved and encouraged us.  They have been a joy and we would not have traded away the experience for anything.   

Yes, our boys have reached their 30th birthday today, are loving husbands and fathers and working to be what God wants them to be. We are proud of both of you! We miss them, being separated by a couple days drive, but we manage to keep in touch.  We are thankful to God for His grace to all of us and continue to pray for our sons, daughters-in-law and grandchildren.  May God bless you and make you a blessing to many!

Happy Birthday Jonathan and Ron!

Grace and peace,

Dave

God's Power in Weakness: Jason Gray

I stumbled across Jason Gray today.  I can't even remember how.  I followed a couple links and there he was.  I thoroughly enjoy his sound, but even more, his message.  The message of his life and many of his songs is God's strength in weakness.  He suffers from a speech impediment.  I admire his courage/strength which comes from God alone.  His message fits so well with the overall theme of this blog which is also a major theme of my life as a pastor.  Have a listen to the video below in which Jason talks about his need for God daily in his life.

Jason

Now that you've met the artist, give his music a try.

 

If you like it, you can find more about Jason and hear more of his music by "launching jukebox" on his website.  And may we allow God to shine through our cracks.

Grace and peace,

Dave

Kakabeka Falls Rip Off

Kakabeka Falls, near Thunder Bay, Ontario used to be a highlight on our trip from southern Ontario to Bible school in Saskatchewan. Right on the Trans Canada Highway, it's billed as the Niagara of the North. It was a great place to stretch your legs and spend a few minutes in the wonder of God's creation.

It has been quite some time since we have stopped there, but on a recent trip to Thunder Bay we decided to take a few minutes to take a look and maybe a couple pictures. To my shock and anger I discovered that you now must pay to park and have a look. They have one of those automated machines and as far as I can tell it now costs $4.00 for an hour. I didn't bother to get out to check so someone may be able to correct me, but as far as I could see $4.00 was the minimum price, meaning that's how much it would cost even for a 10 minute look. We aren't talking about camping or even a whole day. I don't think there's that much to do there. We are talking taking away the privilege of stopping for lunch or for a rest or just for a few minutes to enjoy the sights. What a rip off!

I understand that upkeep of the parking lot and washrooms cost money, but why not just add a little more on to camping fees across the province or something like that? This is the major highway through Canada and people should have the right to see the beauty of this country without being charged for it. It seems to me that they've turned this beautiful spot into a cash cow. What a shame!

Dave

Work Hard and Play Hard But Never Confuse the Two

I want to share another lesson from Memoirs of an Ordinary Pastor.  Don Carson wrote,

"Mum used to tell us kids, 'Work hard, and play hard, but never confuse the two.'  By this she wanted us to know that while we were working, we should not fritter away the hours by squeezing in distractions and various kinds of play.  The result would be poor work combined with guilt feelings for a job poorly done.  Similarly, when we were playing we were not supposed to be thinking about work because that would dilute some of the regenerative value of downtime.  But Dad never learned Mum's simple maxim.  The total number of hours he put into his calling each week was excessively high, but occasionally--as much out of fatigue as discouragement--he would permit something else to intrude, and then feel guilty about it.  Mum's maxim should be posted on the mirrors of most ministers."  (p. 93)

I do fall into the trap of "playing" at work from time to time.  Well, not playing exactly, but I find it quite easy to "wander off" when using the internet to research this or that for a sermon or other work.  So many interesting links!  So much great information!  I can even still be learning, but I'm not getting my work done.  I need to be a little more disciplined in this area.

It can also be a challenge to get play time in without feeling guilty.  My play this time of year is two hours of floor hockey once a week.  Last year, being at a new church I struggled to keep that night free.  This year I've done a much better job at protecting this time.  It's not always easy.  When you have a number of evenings out for meetings in the course of a month it is tough to find nights that work for every one.  I sometimes feel guilty when I say I'm busy that night knowing it is "only floor hockey" and I'm often tempted to give it up.  But I've told my board that I NEED to protect that night.  I need it for exercise.  I need it to manage stress.  I need it for fun.  I need it to build relationships with unchurched guys.  Therefore I refuse to feel guilty.  And when my wife tells me to be careful, my standard reply is, "I can't be careful and have fun!"

So, I encourage you too, to work hard, play hard, but never confuse the two!

Grace and peace,

Dave    

Serving Under the Gospel of Grace

Continuing to comment on this and that from D.A. Carson's biography of his father, Memoirs of an Ordinary Pastor, I want to quote Carson at some length concerning accepting one's weaknesses.

"So many aspects of ministry demand excellence, and there are not enough hours in the day to be excellent in all of them.  When I was a young man, I heard D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones comment that he would not go across the street to hear himself preach. (and I wrote in the margin, "Oh yeah!") Now that I am close to the age he was when I heard him, I am beginning to understand.  It is rare for me to finish a sermon without feeling somewhere between slightly discouraged and moderately depressed that I have not preached with more unction, that I have not articulated these glorious truths more powerfully and with greater insight and so forth.  But I cannot allow that to drive me to despair; rather, it must drive me to a greater grasp of the simple and profound truth that we preach and visit and serve under the gospel of grace, and God accepts us because of his Son.  I must learn to accept myself not because of my putative successes but because of his Son.  The ministry is so open-ended that one never feels that all possible work has been done, or done as well as one might like.  There are always more people to visit, more studying to be done, more preparations to do.  What Christians must do, what Christian leaders must do, is constantly remember that we serve our God and Maker and Redeemer under the gospel of grace.  Dad's diaries show he understood this truth in theory, and sometimes he exulted in it...but quite frankly, his sense of failure sometimes blinded him to the glory of gospel freedom." (pp. 92-93)

I suppose ministry isn't the only work that one feels such inadequacy and a sense that the work is never done.  That's one of the reasons I enjoyed the couple year break delivering desserts.  When I finished the day I could go home and forget about it.  But pastoring leaves me feeling inadequate on so many levels.  That's why I need this word from Carson.  Partly because it helps to realize I'm not the only one who feels this way.  But mostly because I need the reminder that ultimately I am accepted, not because of any successes, but because of God's grace through Christ's sacrifice.  Yes, I need to be faithful and work hard and pray and be the best pastor I can be.  When I fall short, and I will, I need to allow God's grace to minister to me!  Even when others see me as a failure, God sees me through His Son.  

I was going to leave this post at the end of the last paragraph, but I'm still struggling with how this works.  I understand that I am acceptable to God through Jesus and that will result in eternal life.  I know I don't have to work to measure up in that sense.  But how does God's grace make a difference when I fall and fail in life and ministry?  Perhaps it is in the fact that God has knowingly chosen weak and foolish people to serve Him and He does choose to accomplish His will through us for His own glory.  Does that make sense or is there still something I'm missing?  Feedback welcome!   

Grace and peace,

Dave

Only Such a Word as is Good for Edification

In the book, Memoirs of an Ordinary Pastor, the story is related of how Tom Carson found himself in the middle of a nasty conflict with the president of the denomination.  After pledging their support to raise money for a new congregation Carson was planting, the denomination changed its mind and withheld the money that had come in.  The new church had already paid a down payment on a building and would lose that money if contributions did not come in.  In the end Tom had to borrow another $1000.00(half his annual salary) to keep the deal alive.  At the same time he felt he had to leave the denomination so actually had NO income.

 I write that as background to what I want to share.  Some years later when son, Don (author of this book), was in seminary he heard about all of this for the first time.  He writes,

 So the next time I went home, I brought this matter up.  The conversation went something like this:

Me: I’ve been learning some interesting Baptist history from 1948-1949.

Dad: Oh?

Me: It seems you had a pretty significant part to play.

Dad: What were you told?

So I summarized the events as I understood them…

Dad: I suppose that’s pretty close to what happened.

Me: So how come you never told us kids any of this?

Dad: (after a long pause): There were two reasons.  First, you were children of the manse, and although you have seen the out-working of the gospel, you have also seen more than your share of difficult and ugly things, and we did not think it wise to expose you to this history when you were young.  Second, Marg and I decided we needed to protect our own souls from bitterness.  So we took a vow that neither of us would ever say an unkind thing about T.T. Shields (denominational head).  And we have kept our vow.

 That second reason grabbed me when I first read it and has not let go.  They took a vow not to say an unkind thing against a person that had caused them much hurt!  I find that remarkable.  It is certainly godly.  “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear”  (Ephesians 4:29).  You’ve heard about church members who go home from church on Sundays and have “roast pastor for lunch.”  I’ve been guilty of returning the favour.  What caught my attention even more is their reason was to protect their own souls from bitterness.  I sense a great deal of wisdom in that statement.  We end up hurting ourselves more than the other person when we talk about them behind their backs.  Bitterness eats away at us when we refuse to let go.  It’s a lesson I need to take to heart.

 Grace and peace,

 Dave